This isn't one of those situations where I need to hate you for a while in order to get over you and move on.
I simply just hate you.
Just so we're clear.
"She's got everything. She's cute. She's svelte. She's talented and sincere. She's got wholesome looks and bedroom eyes. She's sassy and sexy and tall and lithe. What have I got that she ain't got?"
"Boobs."
I promised myself I'd take over the world before the year 2000. I promised myself I'd live free or die trying. I promised myself I'd overcome my limitations as a human being, promised myself I'd get the better of my reticent nature. Promised myself to do things I always wanted so I'd never have to regret doing things I hadn't done.
Promised I'd write. Promised I'd call. Promised I'd never give up trying, no matter how hard it got. Promised I'd love you forever. Promised that we'd be best friends, forever. Promised you that the most important thing is our friendship, and that the other stuff didn't matter. Promised myself that too.
I promised I'd learn about who I am and what I want. Promised I'd finish the dishes before they got gross. Promised I'd pull my weight, promised my fare share. Promised I'd do better this time, really. Promised not to fight. Promised not to falter. Promised I'd remember to take care of it in the morning. Promised not to lie.
I promised to write all this down. Promised to take better notes. Promised to pay more attention. Promised to look at the details as well as the big picture. Promised I'd have that done on time. Promised to be there, and not to flake. Promised to make a sincere effort.
I promised to be sincere. I promised to be honest and open and loving. I promised not to shut you out. I promised not to be coy or send mixed messages. Promised to be warm. Promised not to take my bad mood out on you. Promised that I owned my own feelings. Promised that I was not responsible for the feelings of others, but I should accept and consider them while making my promises.
I promised myself to ask myself if promises were meant to be broken.