FAQ

1. What the hell is this?

Biz-nitch.com is a personal carnival ride of words conceived (and then later written down) by me, Lux. It is a non-stop cavalcade of depressing images, unfunny scenarios, and unimaginative plotlines, none of which pay the bills or serve any purpose whatsoever, except for the vomiting up of every thought I've ever had that probably should have remained unspoken. You can find out more about what's actually going on here by waiting in line for the ride.

2. Who the hell are you?

My name is Lux. That may or may not be my actual name, but unless you know me for real, in person, you will never know for sure. It's the only name I'm giving you. Anything else would only result in a disaster of immense proportions. You might be able to glean some details about who I really am from my bio, however. You never know until you try. Also, you might try asking in the form of an e-mail.

3. Why are you doing this to me?

Because you deserve it. Dressing that way. I mean, really.

4. But why me?

Because I like you, buddy. You're really the only one who understands me. You know what makes me tick. You listen well and you validate my every whim. I sometimes think you can read my mind. We were meant to be together, you and I. If I can't have you, nobody else will, either.

5. Please don't kill me.

Tsk tsk. How many times do I have to tell you that you must always phrase things in the form of a question?

6. Could you please not kill me?

That's better. I know it might be stressful for you, having this gun pointed at your face, but I think that once we talk this through--you know, REALLY talk it through, that things are going to be much better for us. I don't want to shoot anyone, pal, least of all you. You're my everything, you know? I just thought the gun would make it easier for us to have a really intense dialogue about us. You know. Just you and me.

7. Could you not point that at my head?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Jesus. I'm just trying to have a discussion with you. To talk about where this relationship is going--

8. PLEASE DON'T WAVE THAT AROUND LIKE THAT! SOMEONE COULD GET HURT!

I thought I warned you about not asking questions! What happens to people who don't phrase things in the form of a question, my friend? WHAT! HAPPENS?!

9. You shoot them?

That's better. Yes. I shoot them. Now, where were we....

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